First Black Astronaut Candidate Finally Reaches Space at 90—Says He'll Now Focus on Getting His AARP Benefits
In a move that defies the phrase 'better late than never,' the first Black astronaut candidate who was always a class above (or below, depending on your perspective) has finally taken a trip to space, courtesy of Blue Origin. After decades of waiting in the wings, the 90-year-old trailblazer decided it was high time to trade his earthly walker for a spacecraft. Speaking to reporters, he quipped, 'I've been waiting so long for this, I half expected to get my AARP renewal notice halfway through the flight!' He wasn't always destined for the stars, having been 65th in a class of 64 at Yeager's test pilot school—an achievement that practically screams for participation trophies. However, perseverance pays off and it seems the motto for the latest mission has been 'Space or bust (mostly kneecaps).' Blue Origin, known for its pioneering yet questionably affordable space tourism, called the flight 'a milestone in our outreach program for senior citizens.' When asked about the potential for more elderly cosmic explorers, the program director replied, 'At this rate, we'll be sending someone from the Greatest Generation to Mars—they'll probably be thrilled to miss out on today's news cycle.' As a final sendoff, the rocket's entertainment system played a curated playlist featuring hits from the 60s, ensuring our beloved astronaut candidate was 'Stayin’ Alive' all the way through zero gravity. Touchdown back on Earth was a rousing success, albeit a bit bumpy—tracking data suggests the onboard LifeAlert went off five times.
In a move that defies the phrase 'better late than never,' the first Black astronaut candidate who was always a class above (or below, depending on your perspective) has finally taken a trip to space, courtesy of Blue Origin. After decades of waiting in the wings, the 90-year-old trailblazer decided it was high time to trade his earthly walker for a spacecraft. Speaking to reporters, he quipped, 'I've been waiting so long for this, I half expected to get my AARP renewal notice halfway through the flight!' He wasn't always destined for the stars, having been 65th in a class of 64 at Yeager's test pilot school—an achievement that practically screams for participation trophies. However, perseverance pays off and it seems the motto for the latest mission has been 'Space or bust (mostly kneecaps).' Blue Origin, known for its pioneering yet questionably affordable space tourism, called the flight 'a milestone in our outreach program for senior citizens.' When asked about the potential for more elderly cosmic explorers, the program director replied, 'At this rate, we'll be sending someone from the Greatest Generation to Mars—they'll probably be thrilled to miss out on today's news cycle.' As a final sendoff, the rocket's entertainment system played a curated playlist featuring hits from the 60s, ensuring our beloved astronaut candidate was 'Stayin’ Alive' all the way through zero gravity. Touchdown back on Earth was a rousing success, albeit a bit bumpy—tracking data suggests the onboard LifeAlert went off five times.