Study Finds Casual Gamers Prefer Touching Digital Grass to Real One, Hardcore Gamers Baffled
In a groundbreaking revelation that threatens to shift the very foundation of the gaming universe, a self-proclaimed 'hardcore' gamer has unleashed a tirade of common sense on Reddit. The post, which racked up 6.9 million views and achieved an oddly 'nice' 69% upvote rate, began by thanking the 'angry nerd tears' for the support, suggesting it could sustain the poster—or as we like to say, provide enough hydration to keep raising virtual swords in smiting imaginary foes.The gamer and his equally dedicated wife share a love for touching grass. You read that right—touching literal grass, not just the kind produced by the Unreal Engine™! Describing their lifestyle, the gamer revealed that they juggle monstrous bosses, epic quests, and sometimes...real-life...which presumably involves mundane activities like socializing and, gasp, physical affection.The post takes an analytical—yet surprisingly heartfelt—jab at XP-chasers and dungeon-rushers. To the bewilderment of those calculating DPS down to decimal points, our protagonist poignantly asks: 'Do you also judge the quality of sex by how quickly you're finished?' Talk about speed-run esoterica!In a Hollywood-worthy twist, the gamer heroically defends the narrative, voice-acting, and aesthetics of his favorite game. He seems bemused, even astonished, that a significant portion of players ignore these lavishly designed cutscenes and side quests, referring to them as simple 'The Renown Grind.' While some players suffer through games like a digital rat in a skinner box, our hero highlighted the simple joys of in-game 'downtime,' where he chats with friends and bonds over common quests, occasionally touching some virtual moss.This post irked quite a few denizens of the subreddit, prompting one frequent contributor to note the stark divide: 'Yo this sub has become NO LIFERS vs CASUALS.' Another user wryly pointed out, 'Something doesn't add up between these comments and those awards.' Meanwhile, critics demanded an insight into how the sub managed the monumental dichotomy between thousands of upvotes and a veritable roasting session in the comments section.Unfazed by the ether's negativity, our modern-day Shakespeare of Reddit infamously concluded with, 'Maybe next time, when you catch yourself overanalyzing the game... Maybe just step away for a while? Go touch some grass?'Original Reddit Post
In a groundbreaking revelation that threatens to shift the very foundation of the gaming universe, a self-proclaimed 'hardcore' gamer has unleashed a tirade of common sense on Reddit. The post, which racked up 6.9 million views and achieved an oddly 'nice' 69% upvote rate, began by thanking the 'angry nerd tears' for the support, suggesting it could sustain the poster—or as we like to say, provide enough hydration to keep raising virtual swords in smiting imaginary foes.The gamer and his equally dedicated wife share a love for touching grass. You read that right—touching literal grass, not just the kind produced by the Unreal Engine™! Describing their lifestyle, the gamer revealed that they juggle monstrous bosses, epic quests, and sometimes...real-life...which presumably involves mundane activities like socializing and, gasp, physical affection.The post takes an analytical—yet surprisingly heartfelt—jab at XP-chasers and dungeon-rushers. To the bewilderment of those calculating DPS down to decimal points, our protagonist poignantly asks: 'Do you also judge the quality of sex by how quickly you're finished?' Talk about speed-run esoterica!In a Hollywood-worthy twist, the gamer heroically defends the narrative, voice-acting, and aesthetics of his favorite game. He seems bemused, even astonished, that a significant portion of players ignore these lavishly designed cutscenes and side quests, referring to them as simple 'The Renown Grind.' While some players suffer through games like a digital rat in a skinner box, our hero highlighted the simple joys of in-game 'downtime,' where he chats with friends and bonds over common quests, occasionally touching some virtual moss.This post irked quite a few denizens of the subreddit, prompting one frequent contributor to note the stark divide: 'Yo this sub has become NO LIFERS vs CASUALS.' Another user wryly pointed out, 'Something doesn't add up between these comments and those awards.' Meanwhile, critics demanded an insight into how the sub managed the monumental dichotomy between thousands of upvotes and a veritable roasting session in the comments section.Unfazed by the ether's negativity, our modern-day Shakespeare of Reddit infamously concluded with, 'Maybe next time, when you catch yourself overanalyzing the game... Maybe just step away for a while? Go touch some grass?'Original Reddit Post